Focus on the Good...

How was your day?

“Well, it was…”

Wait!! Stop right there.  Before you answer, I want you to try something.  I want you to try and only focus on the good—focus only on the good.  

Just trust me.

Think about the answer you were going to rattle off (chances are it was mixed with at least some degree of complaining—heaven knows, my replies to this query have been often enough, and even more in recent days…).  Now, take that ready reply and pause for a second.  Try to reframe it, so that it is more heavily weighted toward the good that happened today.  Don’t give the Negative Nancys in your life any more spotlight than they already try to steal. 

Just say what was good.  No more, no less.

Tell it verbally to someone.  Or write it down.  Or do both.  Or even just think it, right now, wherever you are.

What was good? What can you be thankful for? And even if there’s nothing for which you feel particularly grateful, how can you find a way to be thankful in this moment/situation? 

A word of caution as you try this exercise in silver linings: don’t let those “buts” and “even thoughs” enter into your head.  Don’t let your answer be a conditional one.  Don’t give the negative a foothold to come in and bring down the good in the sentence, to smudge and try to erase (or at least cover up) the good of the day.

Just.  Focus.  On.  The.  Good.

Don’t worry about what went wrong, what felt bad, what could go wrong, what could turn out badly.  Don’t even start to dread the seemingly inevitable ending of the good feeling you’ll get from focusing on the good.  Just be in this moment, this minute, right now.  Just right now.  And just think about the good.  Just the good.

When you isolate the good like this, you give it a chance to stand on it’s own and shine.  And you can see it for what it truly is and just enjoy it for what it is. 

I’ve been caught in a bit of a negative frame of thinking—like, knowing on some level that I shouldn’t be thinking in this way, but still going ahead and letting my focus stray again and again to what is wrong with the day, with whatever situation I’m in.  And don’t get me wrong, sometimes you need to vent, and you can’t just ignore the negative things and pretend they don’t exist.  And negative feelings are no less valid—they are very real and most often rooted in a substantive problem.   But the danger comes in letting these feelings have control—of not even getting on the roller coaster in the first place.

Let me give you an example.

Today, I got home around 2:30 (early release Wednesday at the elementary schools!).  I got my run in right away, and after I got back, I was about to message a friend something about my day.  I started typing, and then stopped myself.  I erased what I had written, and then rewrote only the good that was in the sentence, only the good that had been in my day.

Something switched in my mind; something clicked.  And suddenly, my overall day was good and I was feeling really good about the evening to come.

I almost wrote something along the lines of “even though I haven’t been feeling that great all day and I didn’t get enough sleep—and even though I’m tired and my feet were hurting and the track was riddled with middle/high schoolers the whole time I was running—and even though it feels like we don’t have enough time (we don’t, but that’s something I’m working through, too—part of that processing is evident in my last blog post…)—and but this and even though that, my run was pretty good.”

Instead, I went back and actively tried not to say any of the negative stuff (a difficult task—it took a bit of time and searching for words); I retyped my answer in this way: “[I got home] 230ish.  Trying to think gratefully and live in each minute so will try to frame this positively: I was able to get my run in before the time we usually get home so that frees up like two hours after Greek that I can spend how I want/use just to rest!”

Sounds better right? Feels better.  And once I started and got into the positive flow of the ebb and flow go, it’s like the floodgates were unlocked and here come all these good things about my day that were hiding somewhere in the shadows –behind an early alarm clock, a full teaching schedule, Greek homework, and achy muscles.

“And it was actually a really good run---decent pace, but consistent, and my mental game for it was really good and it went by quickly…

“Or maybe not necessarily quickly but in such a way where I was enjoying instead of dreading each lap…

“I tried to stay focused on my run which helped me feel less awkward about the middle/high schoolers there for gym and then practice…

“I should write this down and try to stay in this positive frame of mind: good things about today:

·      I woke up early (fairly easily).

·      I felt like I contributed a little something to school today and that it was appreciated. (“An essay is like a hamburger”).

·      I was able to finish my Greek homework (at least the writing) on the bus so I wouldn’t have to rush through it right before class.

·      I have a new comforter that will actually cover me and keep me warm! (AND is clean and new and hasn't been used by anyone else!)

·      I have an evening after Greek to just enjoy and hopefully get to bed earlier than I have been.”

And there’s more I could add to that list: I cooked and ate and enjoyed every bite of a pretty darn delicious dinner.  I talked to my sister.  I messaged a bit with my mom and dad.  I took steps to figuring out “adult responsibility schtuff”.  I read a little.  I watched a little bit of “Tiny House Nation”.  I wrote----I wrote this! I’m sitting in my bed, actually relaxing, before 10 o’clock.  Woooo!

It just makes the day seem/feel better when I focus on just the good and actively try to keep from saying the "but".

I bought a shirt this summer.  It’s a light purple and says in white, scripty letters: Focus on the Good.

It’s been a good (if lofty) goal I’ve had sitting in the back of my mind.  Something I know I should do, something I (most of the time) try to do.  When I came to Greece, I came with the intention and goal of really trying to live in each moment and make the most of absolutely every moment and be present and—

Focus on the good.

It’s crazy how that can so easily get pushed back to the backburner.  (It’s a little crazy, too, how often I’ve said “good” in this post.  But it’s a good kind of crazy and really, no other synonyms will do here so…).

I’m really glad I retyped that message—that I reframed the way I thought about my day—that it changed my mindset about today (and hopefully tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next and the next and the next and the….) 

Whatever happened.  Whatever’s going to happen.  Whatever. 

Right now.  Right here.  In this moment.  It’s good.

Just focus on the good J